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Kažu da su smeh i šala najbolji lek protiv stresa. Iz tog razloga i navedeni odabrani vicevi imaju jedini cilj da vas nasmeju i oraspolože, bez bilo kakvih drugih namera i ambicija.

Saznao Lala da ga Sosa vara sa komšijom pa je pita:
- Ta jel' bolji od mene?
-Nije.
- Ta jel' ima veći od mog?
- Nema.
-Ta jel mu ondak deblji?
-Nije.
-Ta jesul' mu ondak jaja veća nego moja?
-Nisu.
-E, al' ću ga i podjebavati kad ga sretnem!

Imao Lala proliv i otišao kod doktora po lek a ovaj mu greškom prepiše tablete za smirenje (apaurin). Posle par dana sretne doktor Lalu i pita ga kako mu je:
-"Ta dobro mi je: serem i dalje u gaće, al' mi je baš svejedno."

Ulazi Lala u kucu i viče sa 'avlinski' vrata:
-"Soso, dobio sam na lotou - pakuj kofere!"
Na to ce Sosa:
-"Super! Da li da se pakujem za more ili za planine?"
A Lala će:
-"Ta di gođ 'oćeš - samo se gubi odavde!"

Pita plavuša drugu plavušu:
- Jesi li bila na IQ testu?
A druga joj odgovara:
- Jesam, i hvala Bogu - negativan je!

Rodila plavuša blizance i pitaju je jesu li jednojajčani ili dvojajčani, a ona kaže:
- Jedan je dvojajčan a drugi je devojčica.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news:
- You have cancer and you have Alzheimer's."
Guy says,
-"Thank God I don't have cancer."

Objašnjava Mujo sinu kako da obuče gaće:
-"Vidiš, Suljo, ovo žuto ide naprijed, a ovo smeđe pozadi."

Doneo Mujo Fati vibrator, pa ga ona proba u ruci 1... 2... 3... i ispadne joj i sve skakuće i zvrnda po podu, a Mujo će:
-"Drž‘ ga Fato, taj će sve da nas po*ebe!"

Došao Mujo kod Fate i kaže joj:
- "Fato, ajmo ja i ti malo oralnog seksa."
Pita Fata:
-"A što ti je to?"
Mujo:
-"Ti ljubiš tamo gdje ja pišam..."
Fata:
"Ma što bolan, zar po pločicama na terasi?"

Devojčica u Černobilu kaže mami:
-"Mama, mama, raste mi i treća sisa!"
A mama će:
-"Ma boli me ku*ac!"

Senior’s Sex Guide
-Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
-Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
-Set the mood with lighting (turn them ALL OFF!)
-Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
-Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
-Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
-Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
-Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
-If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Patient :
-“What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor :
-“One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

Kad gledam nebo vidim tebe, kad gledam sunce vidim tebe, kad gledam mesec vidim tebe, pa je*i ga, pomeri se malo!

Skače Spiderman u uskoči u Sloveniju: Skoči na jednu zgradu, pa na drugu, pa na treću te stade i kaže: "A u P.M. a gde ću sad?"

You know you're a SERB when... (2.)

-When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears
-You are freaked out by 'Babaroga'
-When your baba chases you around the house with a varjaca
-You don't actually attend University, just hang out there and play "tablic".
-There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
-You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "prsut Or salami".
-When you are reading this list and you're cracking up
-You are high maintenance
-You can dance a kolo to anything, including Serbian rock
-The main menu for lunch is cabbage and beans.
-Your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you
-You have a Kosovka Devojka goblen hanging on your wall
-There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"
-As a kid you are paid to steal the bride's shoe at a wedding
-You have a vegetable garden in your backyard consisting of a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes.
-You have a cold cellar that includes a variety of meat/deli products,pickled goods, and wine.
-Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.
-You are at a zabava and guy's try to pick you up with "Hey baby, what's your slava??"
-You live for the annual Folkfest and/or Soccer Tournament
-You cant imagine hearing a song without the obligatory "harmonikas solo"
-You always have the latest mobile phone on the market
-As soon as you tell a neighbour you're Serb they ask you for some rakija

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